


Honeybee

by The_Whistler



Series: Honeybee... One Person's Theory [5]
Category: Steam Powered Giraffe
Genre: Drama, F/M, Feels, Heartbreak, Lost Love, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-06
Updated: 2014-01-06
Packaged: 2018-01-07 18:52:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1123182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Whistler/pseuds/The_Whistler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alternate viewpoint of the events in "Peter A Walter I Grants a Rare Interview." Starts before the events in that story and bridges slightly toward the fic "What Is Life and What Is Real."</p><p>Has some humor, but mostly heartache. A bittersweet love story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Honeybee

**Author's Note:**

> I first posted this months and months ago. There wasn't much response and I got self-conscious and took it down. Now, I think, I'll repost it and whether it gets a response or not, I'll leave it... I like having Rabbit's view of it even though it's a lot darker knowing what "really" went on between them before the "incident." And if it's too painful, I did at least write the follow-up to help with that!

Rabbit leaned on the railing and sighed.

"Never saw a body like that in my life," he murmured, not for the first time.

The figure before him made no response.

"Why am I still standing here? She can't hear me... Maybe she ain't even a robut..."

His eyes traced the lines of the gold and silver female form on the dais.

"But she sure is pretty..."

The Spine would have rolled his eyes at that. Well, he didn't have to know.

Rabbit grinned.

The clock outside tolled one. A tired-looking man climbed onto the platform with the beautiful figure and began to put on a work apron, never noticing Rabbit, who turned and headed back to the bandstand to get oiled for the afternoon performance.

 

He'd come across her a little less than an hour before, after slipping away from his brothers as they were exploring the fair. They'd been playing there for two weeks and it was the first time they'd gotten out to take a look. Rabbit had been excited... until he found out that The Spine, The Jon, and Hatchworth were all going too.

One or two might have been fine, but all three? They'd be lucky to see more than one exhibit! Why were they all so slow? 

Then he'd remembered an old, boring poem The Spine had once read to them.

_"Down to Gehenna or up to the Throne,_

_He travels the fastest who travels alone."_

_That's for me!_ he decided. So while The Spine and Hatchworth were trying to stop The Jon from jumping into the fountain, Rabbit slipped behind a passing crowd of people and away as quickly as he could without attracting too much attention.

He made good time after that, but it wasn't so easy to travel alone. By the time he made it to the Hall of Science, he was trailing a line of fascinated kids. Another time, he would have turned and given them what they wanted, told some jokes, let them see the swell robot, but he didn't know how long it would take The Spine to find him. Drawing a crowd would only make him easier to spot.

He turned. "Hey, kids! Make tracks, already! You want to see a show, come to the bandstand at two o'clock and you'll see plenty!"

"Awww..."

 "C'mon, shake a leg. Scram!"

The kids walked away grumbling.

"Aw, nuts!" muttered one tiny girl, hand in hand with an older one.

Rabbit chuckled and hurried into the Hall.  He knew what he wanted to see first.

It was a bit of a hobby for him, checking out the other attempts at robots that sometimes appeared at the fairs they visited. He'd seen a poster out in the fairgrounds promising that there was one in here... a big, clunky iron monster. There had been a small photograph of it on the poster. Rabbit had laughed until steam came out his ears. 

This he had to see! Maybe he could find some peanuts to throw at it. You just couldn't do that with The Spine around.

But Rabbit never got past the entrance hall. His optics locked on something just beyond the doors, gleaming in the filtered midday glow.

"Murder..." he breathed.

It was a figure of a girl... but what a girl! She had the figure of a goddess, the face of an angel, and the wings of a bee, for some reason. Her dress was striped... he suddenly realized he loved stripes! She was beautiful, from her gleaming antennae to her shapely legs... every inch the work of an artist. She stood, unmoving, on a raised platform, facing the doors of the hall.

Rabbit bumped into a railing and stopped. He had forgotten he was still walking. Fair-goers chattered and giggled as they passed, but he barely noticed.

There was a sign in front of her. "Exhibit under construction," he read. "Do not enter. This means you."

 He folded his arms over the railing and gazed up at her. 

"Hello?" He tried. She didn't respond. "Switched off, huh? Yeah, that happens." He chuckled dryly. "Sometimes they d-d-d-on't even ask.  Guess they don't think of us as people. Who w-w-w-wants to be people anyhow?"

She stared at nothing.

"If I s-s-said you a beautiful chassis, would you hold it against me?" he offered with a grin. "The Spine... that's my little brother... he says the l-l-ladies don't like lines like that. He says that now, anyhow! Guess he's embarrassed. I talked him into trying it at a nightclub in Paris b-back durin' the Great War and I think it worked a little too well... Pretty sure that one dame left a few dents, anyhow!"

He laughed. A passing mother hurried her children away.

"Hm... _that_ happens too. Guess it does look kinda crazy, me tellin' dirty stories to a statue. _Are_ you a statue?"

Silence.

"Well, I guess I'll just have ta enjoy the view." 

He leaned on the railing and sighed.

 

It was a couple of days before he could slip away again, right after the morning show. When he entered the Hall, a little before twelve, he saw the man in the apron adjusting her wings. She flapped them gently at his command and looked at him with a doting expression. Well, at least he knew she was a robot!

The clock struck twelve and the man shut her off, grabbed his coat, and left the Hall.

  _So close!_ thought Rabbit. If only he'd left her switched on!

He hurried up to her. "Hello, there!" he said. "It's me again. Of course, you still can't see me, or hear me..."

He stopped. What was that sound? None of the humans would hear it, of course... it was an electrical noise, a tone. But it was as clear to him as the hum of their voices.

He looked up at her. "Is that you?" he asked, surprised.

The sound came again... A soft beeping pulse. He was startled. She was switched off. How could she be conscious?

The pulse came three times, as if trying to get his attention.

"Well, whaddya know," he said with a smile. "Say... I used to run the wireless back in the war. Maybe you can learn a couple of codes and we can talk! Here, try this..."

He hummed two tones, one long and one short. The pulse mimicked the sound.

"Hot dog! Now just do that once for no and twice f-f-for yes."

_Yes._

He giggled... but it died in his throat when he realized that she was shut down, and _conscious_. He'd heard of humans in a similar condition, their bodies still but their brains going on anyway. What kind of creator made a robot that couldn't completely shut down? If he'd had skin, it would have been crawling.

She beeped three times.

"Sorry, I was just thinkin'... say, I don't know your name. I don't have time to teach you any more code, not if we're gonna have a chat before I gotta go back. Is your name... Delilah?"

_No._

"Is it Iris?"

_No._

"Huh... how about Wanda?"

_No._

He was out of familiar female names. "Well... Was that fella your Pappy?"

Silence.

"Was he the one who built you?"

_Yes._

"Oh." _The jerk_ , he thought. Well, never mind him. "My Pappy... the man who created me... i-i-is like a father to me, so..."

_Yes!_

"Oh... do you call him Father?" The crawly feeling was back.

_Yes._

"Ah... well, speaking of names, I may not know yours, but m-m-mines's Rabbit! Pleased tah meet ya, honey!"

She beeped rapidly in response, as if excited. "Pleased tah meet me too, eh?" he chuckled.

 _No._ Pause. _Yes._

"Not sure?" he laughed. "Y-y-you ain't the first!"

_No._

"I gotta teach ya more code sometime, baby!"

They went on chatting, in their awkward way, until it was nearly one o'clock. Rabbit looked around uneasily.

"This was about the time your... uh, your F-f-father came back last time I was here. I better go."

_No._

He felt bubbles of pure joy coursing through his boiler. She didn't want him to go!

"Aw, baby..." he sighed. "I don't wanna go either!"

He sighed. A clock outside began to chime the hour. He took a reluctant step toward the doors.

"I'll come back as soon as I can."

He blew her a kiss.

_Yes._

"I'll take that as a 'right back atcha!'" he giggled. "See ya, honey."

He hurried away.

_Yes. Yes. Yes._

_  
_After a few weeks of seeing her every few days, Rabbit had it all worked out. He'd slip out right after the ten o'clock concert and be in the Hall of Science in time to see the jerk working with her, wait until twelve when the man promptly left for an hour. Then Rabbit would spend that hour with her.

He always waited. You just couldn't make love to a dame when her Pappy was standing around listening. Or so he’d heard.

Sometimes he saw her moving, and heard her speak. She only spoke in greetings, though. He began to think that he'd had deeper conversations with her, despite the limits of her language, than that father of hers ever had. He'd tried to teach her more code but she didn't seem to want to learn it; no wonder considering she spent the rest of her time parroting back phrases.

One day, Rabbit would sing to her. Another day, he'd tell her jokes. Sometimes he told her about his family. Through careful questions, he learned about her. And somehow through her reactions, her personality grew clearer, her sweetness came through.

The more Rabbit learned, the more he wanted to see her again, and the harder it was to leave her.

 

  
About a month after they'd first "spoken," Rabbit still had not met her while she was fully online. Her father never failed to shut her down before heading out for an hour lunch while she stood watching people walk by.

Rabbit had watched her, though, many times, as her creator would try to train her, like he was teaching a dog to perform tricks. That man had come up with the craziest handshakes Rabbit had ever seen. It looked like she was doing Judo!

He laughed about it when he spoke to her. And now, before he left, he whispered words he thought must surely be lost in the noise of the Hall of Science, only audible to robotic ears.

"Honey… I never thought I’d say this to anyone… not the way I mean it now… but I-I-I love you..." he murmured, looking up at her adoringly. He hesitated with a new fear, and forced himself to ask, knowing it was the only way she could reciprocate, "D-do you love me?"

 _Yes..._ she sent, and his boiler bubbled with joy. _Yes..._

 

He almost flew to her the next time he came to see her. The platform she stood on was decked with bunting now, and at last he learned her name. A new sign in front of her display read, "The Honeybee, hostess extraordinaire! She buzzes to your guests so you can keep busy, too!"

Rabbit rolled his eyes. Corny! But now he understood why she got so worked up when he called her "honey."

He wanted to tell her, to laugh about all the times he'd missed the hint, and to tell her he loved her again, but when the clock struck twelve, her creator kept working. Again and again the two of them went through some strange move or other. He seemed to be growing more and more frustrated with her progress.

Then a hush fell over the hall when he slammed the wrench he was holding angrily onto the stage. Honeybee flinched. He muttered something to her and she turned away. She turned until she was looking at his spot, the place at the railings where he always stood when he came to see her. An agitated puff of steam coughed its way out of his cheek vents. The man grabbed her by her shoulders and turned her back toward him, then roughly straightened her head as well.

He couldn't stand it! Rabbit started across the hall. He had a few things to say to this human, this father of hers.

They looked at him as he approached, steaming like a kettle on full heat. He opened his mouth, ready to tell the man off, when he saw that she was shaking her head at him. He snapped his mouth shut, confused.

The man, though, was staring at him like he was a glass of cool water in the middle of the desert. Rabbit, feeling suddenly very uncomfortable and helpless in the face of her response, gave Honeybee an uneasy smile and turned to leave.

"Wait! Rabbit! Are... are you Rabbit? Of The Steam Man Band?"

It was _him_. Rabbit looked back over his shoulder. "Who wants ta know?"

"Oh... My name is Professor Geoffrey Secret."

"Says you."

"Hm?"

"Never mind. Whaddya w-w-want?"

He heard Secret mutter something about faulty, stuttering vocal assemblies. Rabbit puffed steam angrily.

"I wonder if you could do me a favor, Rabbit."

 _Do me a favor and take a powder,_ Rabbit thought, staring at him coldly.

"Just wait there a moment."

“Yes, sir,” he muttered sarcastically. Rabbit rolled his eyes as Secret hastily pulled out a piece of paper and scrawled a note. He folded it and hurried down from the platform.

"Would you be so kind as to take this to your master?"

"To my _what,_ now?"

"Oh, no, of course..." Secret chuckled. "Of course. You call him 'Pappy.'" He smirked. "Could you take this note to your _Pappy_ , Rabbit?"

Rabbit was thinking fondly of his flamethrower, but Honeybee was anxiously watching him. She waved a hand encouragingly, urging him to take the note. He sighed.

"That's Mistah Walter to you, wise guy," said Rabbit.

"Oh, many apologies!" he chuckled, as though Rabbit was a precocious child. "Could you take this note to _Mr. Walter_ , Rabbit?"

"I was r-r-referring to _me_ , chump," said Rabbit, snatching the note briskly. "An' yeah, I'll take the note to _Colonel Walter_ if it'll shut you up."

"Oh... um..."

"G-g-good afternoon."

He gave Honeybee a quick smile, tipped his hat, and forced himself to leave her with _him_.

 

Colonel Walter had been invited to dinner, and didn't come back to the boarding house until late in the evening. Hatchworth and The Jon were playing card games they'd made up themselves, but Rabbit spent the time brooding, which made The Spine nervous. That was reason enough to do it, but he wasn't trying to be a pain. He wondered what that lunatic was telling Pappy.

When the colonel returned, he fixed himself a bicarbonate of soda and sank gratefully into the chair The Spine hastily vacated for him.

"Well, boys, I don't think I've been flattered so much in my life! I suppose he's just trying to sweet-talk me into helping him out tomorrow..."

"Help him with what, sir?" asked The Spine. Rabbit trundled closer and pulled up a chair to join them.

"You feeling alright, Rabbit?" asked the Colonel, sipping the soda. "You're awfully quiet."

"I'm just f-f-fine, Pappy. What did the man want?"

"Well, he's finally demonstrating his new invention tomorrow. Some kind of service automaton, says "hi" to people in hotel lobbies and such. Sounds like a lot of science just for a fancy doorbell."

"She's..." Rabbit began, but stopped quickly and covered his outburst with a hiss of steam.

She was more than that, he wanted to shout. But he wasn't eager to explain what he knew about it... not in front of his brothers, anyway. The Spine, catching something odd in his response, fixed him with a puzzled stare.

"Take it easy with the steam there, Rabbit," said the Colonel wearily. Rabbit nodded.

"Are you going to help him, sir?" asked The Spine.

"Oh, sure. There's no harm in him that I can see, and his demonstration is between shows."

"What does he w-w-w-want you to do?" Rabbit asked carelessly.

"Well, he doesn't want much from me, actually. He wants to show off how she greets people. He thinks a crowd would turn out to see you boys say hello to his robot. You've been working more than playing the past few weeks..."

" _Some_ of us have," The Spine said with what sounded very much like petulance, glancing once more at Rabbit, who shrugged and made a sour face.

"Ahem... yes, well. You're good boys, you've earned some fun. We'll run through his little script and then explore the fair a bit. How about a little field trip tomorrow?" he asked, loudly enough to get the other robots' attention. They looked at him and beamed.

"Yay!" cried The Jon. "What's a field trip?"

"Don't be silly, dumb'ns," said Hatchworth. "It's a trip to a field, of course. Don't you ever go... to the movies? They are an education."

"Really?"

"I have seen many... in my travels. I will teach you all that they have taught me."

"Hatchworth..." the colonel interrupted. "I think it's time for the two of you to shut down for the night."

Hatchworth frowned. "But I haven't taught The Jon about the educational pictures I have seen, Pappy!"

"Perfect. Good night, boys."

"Yes, Pappy." They powered down where they sat. Cards fluttered to the floor. The colonel shook his head.

"So literal... but at least The Jon isn't learning to talk like a gangster."

"Yes," murmured The Spine, eyeing Rabbit. "Unlike some people."

"Some of us l-l-like to keep up with the times, little brother. Things change, y'know," muttered Rabbit, looking at his hands.

The Spine stared at him again for a moment, and shook his head.

"Well, what do you think, boys? The others will go along with whatever you two decide. They usually do."

"If you think it's the right thing to do, sir, then I'll gladly help any way I can."

"Crumb," muttered Rabbit. The Spine scowled at him.

"Well, Rabbit?" asked Pappy. "Does it sound like a good plan?"

Rabbit was torn. He didn't trust this Secret any further than he could throw him... no, that wasn't it... he didn't trust him any further than The Jon could throw Hatchworth. Even the man's name was shifty. But this could be his only chance to speak to Honeybee face to face, even if it was just to say hello. He wanted to help her, to pry her off of that stand and take her away from him forever, but he knew it was no good. She wasn't a Walter robot. Anything he did would only get his Pappy, and her, in trouble.

All he could hope for was a moment with her. Maybe after her debut, she would be left powered on and he could come and speak to her until the end of the fair. He'd come every day if they could only speak to each other. He'd find a way, while he still could. And after that... well, he didn't want to think about after that.

 _Take what you can get, Rabbit. Maybe if she makes good, he'll treat her better. That would be something._ It didn’t feel like something, though.

He grinned weakly. "Sounds swell, Pappy."

 

The next day, they arrived a little early to learn their cues. Then Colonel Walter put them all on stand-by at the side of the stage. Rabbit was half aware of his surroundings as he trundled obediently up the staircase and slumped forward.

There was a murmuring crowd. Someone called his name. Rabbit rose from stasis and heard applause. Automatically, he waved both arms and grinned. Pappy, standing nearby, put a hand over his eyes.

"Now, then, boys!" called a grand, theatrical voice. "I'd like you all to take turns saying hello to Honeybee!"

Honeybee! Now he was awake! He turned quickly in the direction of the voice... and froze.

He'd seen her plenty of times, but this was different. She was freshly polished, which set off every line and curve of her chassis. And she was smiling and moving around, not standing still, unresponsive. Best of all, when he looked at her, he found that she was already looking at him... past Secret, past The Jon, past The Spine. Right into his eyes. His boiler bubbled like seltzer water. It seemed to him that this must be what a bridegroom felt like when he turned and saw his girl all dressed up in white and heading his way. It was all Rabbit could do to keep from rushing straight to her.

"Jon, if you please, come and say hello to Honeybee."

The Jon, who had pulled his hat over his eyes, shook his head vigorously. Pappy urged him forward and The Jon finally shuffled forward until he was a few feet away from her, waved timidly, said a faint hello, then turned and ran behind The Spine. Honeybee waved back.

"Hello, The Jon," she said softly, mimicking his tone. The crowd was giggling.

Rabbit's mouth opened and shut restlessly. Why was this taking so long?

"Everything alright, Rabbit?" murmured Pappy.

Rabbit didn't know whether he answered out loud or not. The Spine's turn had arrived. As his smooth, suave brother approached Honeybee, Rabbit grew increasingly uncomfortable.

Pappy gently opened an access panel on Rabbit’s neck. He barely noticed.

The Spine greeted Honeybee in what Pappy called his “bedroom voice;” his silkiest tone. The description made The Spine uncomfortable, so it usually made Rabbit laugh.

Not today.

“Good morning, Miss Honeybee,” The Spine crooned, and swept off his snazzy fedora, bowing.

The clock outside struck noon. “Good afternoon, The Spine,” she crooned back, to chuckles from the onlookers, and curtseyed.

Rabbit had thought he understood the concept of jealousy before. He was sure he had it figured out now. Between the sound of her voice, and the person the voice was addressing, Rabbit felt fit to explode with the feeling.

“What in the name of sanity…” muttered Pappy, jerking away from Rabbit as thick steam poured from his facial vents. He carefully reached over with a handkerchief to close Rabbit’s neck panel. The Spine calmly returned to his place on the stage as Secret turned toward Rabbit.

He hesitated slightly, then cleared his throat and said, “Now, then, Rab-“

 _Kiss off, jelly bean,_ Rabbit thought, hurrying forward. He’d had enough of the man. He didn’t need some slave driver telling him when he could talk to his girl.

“Oh, well… very good…” Secret faltered.

Rabbit stood eye to eye with Honeybee, momentarily speechless as he looked into her glowing blue photoreceptors. She was even lovelier up close.

The crowd was murmuring but he didn’t care. He wanted to hear her speak, hear her say his name. No, he wanted more than that… he wanted her to say his name in _that_ voice…

“Hello, Honeybee,” he murmured, his voice low and filled with all the longing of their month of secret visits. To his surprise, it sounded a lot like The Spine’s bedroom voice, but with something more…

And he was not disappointed when she replied, in a voice filled with emotion, “Hello, Rabbit.”

It was worth the wait. He closed his eyes and sighed. Heavenly!

Grinning, he opened his eyes. She smiled back. It was her programming, he knew, but how could that be all? Wasn’t she the girl he had been sneaking out to speak with for weeks? The one who, in her own way, had asked him, at the end of every visit, not to go…

He needed to do something more, something better than a low bow. Something beyond a charming gesture. Something a lover would do.

He went with his first impulse. Her smiled made him weak in the knee servos… so he knelt before her. The crowd went silent.

He looked up and saw her offer her hand to him. The scientists were whispering fiercely behind him. He ignored them, ignored everyone and everything except for the dainty, shining hand as he clutched it reverently and pressed his lips to the back of it. Several women in the crowd sighed.

He wanted to look at her face again. He started to rise, her hand still clutched in his.

“How do you do, Rabbit?” she asked pleasantly.

What? He looked at her, and for a fraction of a second registered a look of sorrow on her face before her hand was ripped from his. In the next second, searing pain ripped through his boiler and the world became a blur.

He heard the sound of thunder… or was it a bomb? People were screaming. He was on his back, looking up at the ceiling. He tried to rise, to help the frightened people… but he couldn’t seem to move. He was choking… he’d always wondered what that felt like… Something hot was trickling down his cheeks. His boiler was gurgling and hissing. That wasn’t right…

He coughed, and water exploded from his mouth. There were pounding footsteps.

“Rabbit!”

 _Pappy… where is she, Pappy?_ he mouthed, frightened, as someone lifted him and cried for him to speak. It was The Jon.

 _The Jon?_ he tried to say. _I want Pappy… Something’s wrong. It went wrong… she did it wrong again… he’ll hurt her…_

He heard her, crying out over the noise in the Hall. She was saying his name, again and again… but there was terror in her voice.

_Honey!_

The Spine was leaning over him, eyes wide with alarm. Rabbit tried again to speak. _Spine! What's happening? What's he doing to her?_

He saw Pappy’s face, full of fear and worry. He looked as though he was under water... _It’s okay, Pappy… I’m fine… help her… she’s afraid…_

The world flickered out like a snuffed candle.

The next moment, he was in Pappy’s lab.

 

“Rabbit, please! This has nothing to do with Jon being shy!"

"What do you mean, I'm too tall?" muttered The Spine.

"This is _wrong_ , Pappy!" Rabbit cried.

"Pull yourself together, son!”

“She’s n-n-not dead!”

“It isn’t the same, Rabbit! She wasn't like you boys. She wasn’t conscious…”

“Yes, she is! She _is_!”

“Here’s your stuffed carrot, Rabbit. Your favorite…” Jon said timidly.

Rabbit snatched the carrot and threw it across the lab. Jon’s lip trembled.

"So you're j-j-j-just giving up?" Rabbit cried.

“Knock, knock!”

“Shut _up_ , Hatchy!” Rabbit snapped. “We have to find her, Pappy! He d-d-d-don’t treat her right!”

“Doesn’t,” The Spine prompted, but there was a tremor in his voice.

“Not now, Spine! Pappy, _please!_ If there’s any-any-any chance at all…”

“It’s been four months, Rabbit. He won’t tell me who bought her, and for all we know… well, we just don’t know. It could be anyone, anywhere… It’s impossible, Rabbit!”

“You keep saying that! It's a lie! St-st-stop it, Pappy! Don’t ever say that again!”

They stared at him in shock. He was a little shocked himself. He'd never talked back to Pappy.

“Knock, knock?” Hatchworth said weakly.

“Who’s there?” whispered Jon, eyes wide, still staring at Rabbit.

“The Spine…”

“The Spine who?”

“The Spine’s brain fell out.”

“Ha ha…” Jon giggled quietly, looking hopefully at Rabbit. The Spine twitched.

Rabbit ignored them, fists clenched, staring down his Pappy, his creator, the man who was a father to him. He told himself it was wrong, but still he stared, still furious. Why wouldn’t anyone listen to him? Four months offline, out of commission, unconscious… only to wake to this! He had known Secret couldn’t be trusted. He should have said something! Now she was… she was…

He looked away from Pappy, trembling.

The Spine cleared his throat. “Rabbit, I know it hurts now, but time heals all…”

“No!” Rabbit shrieked, and kicked the wall. There was an ear-splitting crack, but he ignored the stab of agony in his foot and rounded on The Spine.

“If I want your advice, I'll beat it out of ya! You shut yer big mouth or I’ll d-d-do it for ya!” Rabbit roared.

"Rabbit..." The Spine murmured, eyes wide. Rabbit had never seen his younger brother look so hurt. He turned away, trembling.

"I-I-I l-l-love her! Why w-w-w-won't anyone h-h-h-help?" he sobbed. He couldn't stop shaking. "P-p-p-please! H-h-h-help... S-s-s-someone.... n-n-n-n-n-n…"

“Spine!” cried Pappy. “He’s glitching!”

The Spine nodded and before Rabbit knew what was happening, he was wrapped in what seemed like a very ill-timed brotherly hug.

“L-l-l-l-l-l-lemme g-g-go, y-ya b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b…”

Click.

 

The world clicked on softly.

He was still in the lab, but it was quiet. He wasn't shaking, and his leg didn’t hurt anymore.

He didn’t care. She was gone. _She was gone…_ He groaned.

Pappy hurried to him as he slowly moved to an upright position. “Rabbit?”

“Leave me alone, Pappy,” he whispered.

Pappy stopped short. “Let it out, Rabbit… I know what you’re going through, you know I do. Don’t hold it in. When Delilah died...”

“Honeybee’s not dead…”

“Rabbit…”

“I’ll figure it out. I love her, Pappy. I’ll find a way. She’s not dead.”

“Alright, Rabbit. Have it your way,” Pappy said softly. He walked slowly back to his work.

Rabbit’s body was still but his mind was in motion all day, running endless scenarios... each with one flaw or another.

By evening, he was left with only one possibility, the one he had fought since yesterday, to no avail.

She was gone, lost forever, one way or another. He could have told his Pappy about Secret, could have refused to help... and she'd still be alive. He had wanted to speak to her, to look into her eyes, see her smile, hear her say his name. He'd wanted much more than that... he wasn't sure what... it was all so new to him. New to the whole world, really…

Time, at least. He’d just wanted time. And there wasn't any. Time had stopped when Pappy had told him she was gone.

He looked up as Pappy walked toward him.

"How are you, son?" he asked.

"Pappy... isn't there any way you can find her?" he murmured.

"Well..." He looked uncomfortable. "I could ask Geoffrey again, appeal to his better nature..."

Rabbit shook his head and smiled painfully. "He don't have one, Pappy. He never loved her... _Not like I do...”_

“Oh, Rabbit,” the colonel sighed, patting his shoulder. "Well, then..."

"Pappy..."

"Hm?"

"Give The Jon my stuffed carrot."

"Why?" Pappy's eyes widened. "Now, Rabbit, don't do anything rash."

Rabbit smiled his painful smile once more. He always did rash things. Everyone knew that. But this was different. "I love you, Pappy."

"I love you, too, Rabbit. We can get through this, son!"

Rabbit looked down at his now trembling hands. "Don't switch me back on until you find her."

He didn’t add that he had reached the same conclusion as his Pappy. He knew they weren't going to find her.

"Rabbit..." murmured Pappy.

"Goodbye." he whispered. With a smile, this time of relief, he shut himself down completely.

 

Click.

He was in stasis. _Of course_ , Rabbit thought. A good father doesn't just let his son die while there's any chance to save him. He should have expected it.

But Rabbit had meant what he said. He switched himself back off.

 

Click…

He was in stasis again. He hesitated. Maybe...

He stood. The clock was at a different time. "Pappy?"

"Rabbit!" Colonel Walter rushed across the lab to him.

"D-did you find her?"

The colonel stopped short. "I'm sorry, Rabbit... we haven't been able to...”

“Of course…”

“Wait…"

Rabbit sank once more into darkness.

 

And so it went. Every day, he would find himself awake. A few times, he asked if they had found her. Soon, he stopped asking. He told Pappy to stop, and he didn't. He begged him to stop, but he wouldn't. His fatherly devotion only made Rabbit hurt more. He grew half mad with what felt like a constant existence of being woken into the ashen grey, hopeless world he had once enjoyed. It stabbed more deeply every single time it happened.

And one day he broke. "No more, Pappy! _Never again!"_ Rabbit screamed, and punched the steel reinforced lab wall so hard his fist went through. He clutched at it and sobbed with pain.

"Rabbit, your arm!" cried Pappy.

"Let me die!" Rabbit wept, his voice grating, agonized, dragging his fist out of the rubble. "Please... just let me die! No more..."

He shook off Pappy's attempts to examine his hand and shut down for what he hoped was the last time.

 

It was dark. Music was playing. A guitar. Was this some sort of Heaven for robot musicians?

Then he remembered Honeybee, and decided it was Hell.

He could see footlights. Ah, so he was on stage. Well, that was new.

He realized he wasn't angry anymore. He wasn't anything. One oblivion was as good as another. Let him be on the stage.

The music changed, but it still wasn't familiar. A minute later, it changed again. Another minute, another song. What were they trying to do, comfort him by annoying him?

No, he realized. He knew what they wanted. They wanted him to sing. Well, they were going to have to play a long time before he would sing again. His music was dead.

Still, each mini-song was soothing while it lasted. He recognized The Spine’s gentle, minimalistic style. He stayed put and let the music roll over him, and let his mind drift.

Had there ever been any hope? They never could have been together, even if things had gone according to plan. They belonged to people, and even if Pappy was more a father than an owner to him, Secret had never seen Honeybee as a daughter, no matter how much she saw him as a father.

Sure, if he'd never seen her, never spoken to her, never kissed her hand, at least she'd still be alive. He wouldn't be here, trying to decide whether to start ripping out his own wiring so that they'd see he meant it and just let him be the next time he tried to end it.

Oil dripped onto the stage below his face.

But she hadn't had to smile at him... well, she had, it was her programming. But not the way she did smile... She didn't have to say his name, not _that_ way, even after he said hers the way he had. There had been more in her smile, more in her voice, he was sure of it. She'd spoken sweetly to The Jon and The Spine, but to Rabbit, she'd spoken love...

The music changed. _Not quite,_ said something in the back of his mind.

Why had she hit him? Pappy had said it was something Secret had taught her, a programming error. Still, why? Why had she offered her hand if she knew it would trigger that reaction? Surely she could have stopped it... unless he had made adjustments she couldn't override. He wouldn't put it past Secret to do that.

But, Rabbit realized, he would do it all over again, suffer the same fate and worse, to be able to hold, and kiss, that hand again.

There was a puddle of oil on the stage now. He could hear murmurs from somewhere nearby.

The guitar played a slow, plaintive melody. This fit… this would do. Rabbit stood upright. The murmuring voices stopped suddenly. The Spine, too, stopped momentarily in surprise. The murmuring voices hissed at him to resume playing, and he did.

 _It all happened_ , Rabbit thought, as the melody resumed. There was no taking it back now. They'd had so little. He didn't want to forget what there was... He could still see her blue eyes, her smile, her graceful form. He could still hear her saying his name.

He didn't have to meet her and fall in love. She didn't have to do the same thing right back. But she did. Whatever else had happened, there was that, at least.

He began to sing... _her_ song.

 

Epilogue:

It was 1950. Rabbit came in weary from their park performance. The crowd had been large and enthusiastic, as usual with summer crowds. His Sinatra-style song had killed with the ladies.

He didn't even make it to his room. He sank onto a hall bench and took off his hat.

"Wake me when it's 1951," he sighed.

"You feeling alright, Rabbit?" asked The Spine, brushing off his Fedora.

"Yeah... I g-guess. I just d-d-d-didn't realize I was s-so t-t-t-t-t-t-t..."

"Tired?"

"Hm?" His head dropped onto his chest and his eyes went dim.

"Sweet dreams, Rabbit," The Spine chuckled.

 

He was in an old, overgrown amusement park. Was this a dream? Sometimes he had nightmares...

"Rabbit... Rabbit... Rabbit..."

He gasped. "Honeybee?"

"Find me, love... I'm waiting..."

"Honeybee!"

"Find me..."

 


End file.
